If only

If only I had done better

If only I had tried harder to

If only

But at times I did do better

But no-one saw

But I did it for me

So that when I was feeling that I could have done more, I remember there were times when I did

A reminder that regret is almost futile

And ‘if only’ is just two words

(Watercolour on khadi paper from a couple of weeks ago)

So small

Sometimes I am small

The stars are above

My eyes shut tight

So tiny

And the weight, the heaviness of the world is above me

Around me

I can feel small

Painting on board from last year

the edge

old windowsill

head up and balance

balancing on the edge

the man on the ledge poised

head turning , maybe looking down but then ahead again, perhaps he’ll pull back now

he was just admiring the view

we were all on an edge